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D/S: Dominant vs Submissive

This dimension deals with power dynamics in sexual interactions, focusing on who takes the lead and who follows. Dominant (D) enjoys leading and controlling their partner, often in contexts like BDSM. Conversely, Submissive (S) finds pleasure in receiving instructions and submitting, based on trust and surrender. In practice, these dynamics are not just roleplay but require consent and safety (e.g., safe words) between partners.

Dominant

Dominant focuses on controlling their partner's actions, movements, and pleasure. This ranges from physical (e.g., binding) to psychological (e.g., commands), requiring great responsibility. Dominants respect their partner's limits and build trust through "aftercare" (post-sex stabilization). In actual communities, Dominants often design "scenes," which can extend from fantasy to daily life.

Specific Examples

Bedroom Scene:

  • Tying partner's wrists with silk scarves, whispering "Don't move, I'll take care of everything" while starting with kisses and controlling the pace. Delaying stimulation until partner begs "Please more."
  • Placing a pillow under partner's hips and instructing them to spread their legs, then commanding "Close your eyes and just feel what I'm doing" while alternating between feathers, ice, and lips
  • Sitting partner in front of a mirror and touching from behind while instructing "Watch what I'm doing to you," making partner see their own reactions

Roleplay Scenario:

  • In "boss and secretary" play, Dominant commands "Submit your body instead of the report today" and leads partner onto the desk with instructions
  • In "teacher and student" setting, saying "You didn't do your homework? You need to be punished" while sitting partner on lap and giving light spanking
  • "Police and suspect" play using toy handcuffs, "You're under arrest, you have no rights, only duties"
  • In "photographer and model" scenario, saying "Now take off your clothes, strike the pose I want" while directing various positions

Daily Extension:

  • In the morning, instructing "Wear only the clothes I choose today" to maintain tension throughout the day
  • Holding wireless vibrator remote in public places and controlling partner, activating unexpectedly during meals or shopping
  • Instructing "Don't wear underwear today" and reminding via text all day to maintain tension
  • During date, whispering "I'm planning what I'll do to you when we get home" as a preview
  • Before work, assigning task "Go to the bathroom during lunch and send me a photo"

BDSM Elements:

  • Lightly striking with whip or paddle while asking "Good? Harder?" and adjusting based on partner's response
  • Wax play: Dropping low-temperature massage candle wax on back or chest while asking "Hot? Can you handle it?"
  • Sensory deprivation: Blocking senses with blindfold and earplugs, then unpredictable touches to maximize tension
  • Orgasm control: Setting rule "You can't cum without my permission" then stimulating to the edge and stopping repeatedly
  • Bondage tape or rope in complex patterns, artistic restraint using Japanese "shibari" technique

Psychological Dominance:

  • Asking "How many times did you think of me today? Prove it" and making partner write submission diary
  • Making partner address Dominant as "Master" or chosen title only, with light punishment if forgotten
  • Making partner kneel during meals and feeding by hand
  • In bed, saying "I'll teach you how to be grateful" and making partner express thanks with every stimulation

💡팁

For beginners, establish safe words (e.g., "red" to stop, "yellow" to check in) and always check your partner's emotions as a Dominant. According to community guides, "Confidence is key for Dominants, but avoid excessive pressure." Aftercare (hugging, providing water, praise) after sex is essential.

Submissive

Submissive enjoys surrendering control and experiencing liberating submission. This can lead to "subspace" (extreme immersion state, euphoria from endorphin release) and can be psychologically healing. However, Submissives also have the right to clearly set limits and choose their Dominant.

Specific Examples

Bedroom Scene:

  • Wearing blindfold and kneeling, responding "Yes, master" to Dominant's instructions while moving. Surrendering body whenever Dominant touches
  • Sitting at edge of bed with legs spread and hands tied behind back, following "Don't move" command while enduring stimulation
  • Under rule "Don't make a sound until I allow it," keeping mouth covered and holding back pleasure
  • In foot fetish scene, kissing and massaging Dominant's feet while expressing submission

Roleplay Scenario:

  • In "slave and master" play, Submissive says "I'll do anything" and follows Dominant's commands (e.g., massage or oral service)
  • In "maid and master" setting, pretending to clean then complying when told "You didn't do it right, you need punishment"
  • "Pet play" wearing collar and leash, crawling on all fours and receiving "Good pet" praise
  • In "prisoner and interrogator" scenario, enduring teasing while told "I'll continue until you tell me the secret"

Daily Extension:

  • When Dominant instructs "Cook and serve dinner tonight," connecting this to sexual tension
  • Wearing vibrator all day with Dominant controlling via remote, receiving "I turned it on" text notifications
  • Following instruction "Take off your panties and put them in my pocket" and feeling excitement all day
  • Walking one step behind Dominant in public places, not going ahead without permission
  • Sending text to Dominant every morning "Good morning, waiting for today's orders"

BDSM Elements:

  • Wearing collar (necklace) and being led by Dominant with leash for walk play. Receiving reward with "Good girl/boy" praise
  • Bound to spanking bench or St. Andrew's cross, receiving impact play with various tools (whip, paddle, flogger)
  • Wearing nipple clamps with weights attached for enhanced sensation, being encouraged "Just a bit more" when saying "It hurts"
  • Cage play: Entering small space and waiting until Dominant releases
  • Receiving temperature play with ice or hot wax while repeating "Thank you"

Brat Submissive:

  • Intentionally breaking rules and resisting with "I won't do it" to invite punishment
  • Saying "Catch me if you can" and running away, then being caught and hearing "Ready for punishment?"
  • Rolling eyes or clicking tongue in defiance, then getting excited when told "I'll fix that attitude"
  • Provoking with "Is that the best you can do?" to make Dominant go harder

💡팁

As a Submissive, clearly set your limits (create hard limits vs soft limits list) and remember safe words. As forum advice says, "Submission is key, but consent is essential - you can stop anytime." Request aftercare to prepare for subdrop (emotional low after sex).

Dialogue Examples

When Dominant leads

""I'll decide everything today. Close your eyes. Don't move until I tell you.""

""Put your hands up. ...Good girl/boy. Now I'll tie you up.""

""Want more? Beg. I'll think about whether to give it to you based on how well you beg.""

""Hold your breath now. Hold it until I say 'breathe.' Can you do it?""

""Want to cum? Ask me nicely for permission.""

When Submissive follows

""Master... what should I do today to make you feel good?""

""You can be rougher... I was wrong.""

""Can you tie my wrists? I won't move.""

""Yes... I'll do as you say. Should I do it myself, or will you give me instructions?""

""Thank you... I love it when you do it, master.""

Switch

Switch freely moves between Dominant and Submissive roles, changing based on partner or mood. This provides flexibility and variety, enabling dynamic power exchange even within one relationship.

  • Same evening switching from dominance in first half to submission in second half: "Now it's my turn, I'll tie you up"
  • Power wrestling: Competing for dominance, winner becomes Dominant that day
  • Weekly role schedule: One person is Dom on Mon/Wed/Fri, switching on Tue/Thu/Sat
  • Requesting "Lead me today" and naturally switching
  • Game of deciding that day's role by rolling dice or drawing cards

💡팁

Experiencing both roles helps you better understand your partner's perspective. Give clear signals when switching ("Shall we switch now?").